I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i will never coherently bang her
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
