I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
