Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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