No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
