I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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