THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize