Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
