after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize