Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
