I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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