By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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