I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
