he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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