I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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