I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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