i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
