I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
