10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
