Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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