Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
