Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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