I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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