NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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