She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
