Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
