I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
