She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
