My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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