Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
