I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
