found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
