doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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