john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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