I'm really into asian looking animals
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
