How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
