We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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