I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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