I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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