i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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