I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
bring money and cleavage
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
