My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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