PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
