ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
