Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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