non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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