4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
