Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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