have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
