Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
