we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
