That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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