she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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