i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize