So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I looked at my own cervix.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
