You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
