You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
