I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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