the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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