The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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