Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
