just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
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